Um, yeah…
February 25, 2011
Hm. So yeah, it’s been forever, and given the severe gaps between dates on this blog thus far, I shouldn’t need to explain, but I had some things, er, happen that sort of threw my life a bit.
Actually, reading over the last entry in this blog, the one where I bemoan the likelyhood that I will not get to play pretend tea parties with stuffed toy cats because I am having a boy instead of a girl, is sort of eerie, since the VERY NEXT DAY my water broke! (Thanks for that Thai food, MOM. totally jk! <ha?>). I had that one messy, muddy day, barely looking preg, went home, wrote a blog entry about it, went to bed, and that was it! The end of normal pregnancy as I knew it! Midwife-water birth dreams burst! I mean, I pretty much entered the mouth of hell within a matter of hours. Just reading that last blog post makes me scoff. PFF. Oh foolish, young me–waxing on about snap peas and twisty weeds! What a naiive little thing I was. Maybe I should have been thinking MORE of how lucky I was that I wasn’t going into pre-term labor!
That’s the thing about pre-term labor, though: who the hell thinks of that happening during a pregnancy? Call me naiive, but it never even crossed my mind that would or could happen. And then when it DOES happen, you can’t help but feel guilty. I mean, at least a little. Sure, your doctor can tell you later that they don’t really know why it happens to some women, and I’d have to get a few stitches in my cervix if I ever wanted to have another baby, because maybe it was ‘cervical incompetence’. (Nice name, by the way.) And yeah, maybe I should have listened to Luis that one day, the mechanics guy at the farm, when he said, “no, puedo ayudarte! Es mal para el bebe!” when he saw me ever-so-slightly struggling to carry a crate of onions. (For the record, he ended up helping me, but maybe I should have never tried to carry it in the first place.)
Oh geez, but it is all over now. In a good way. Like, we have a baby. Let’s fast-forward those months in the hospital (or not, if you like). And it is the tail end of winter (sort of) and we are all home, a family of three, lots of snow, lots of organizing, planning, databasing, lots of babying, reading, cooking, and netflixing. Not as much writing as I’d like, of course…but I am slowly working on my book! And I am currently writing an essay for an anthology!
Oh whatever, I’m just trying to psyche myself up and make my life sound more exciting than it is. (Especially with that ‘netflixing’ I threw in there. Jealous?). And yeah, we had planned to do a lot more this winter, it’s true. We had planned to go south and work on some eco farms. We wanted to go to Wisconsin and do more winter woodsy sportsy things and visit our friends up there. Instead, we are on micro preemie winter schedule, meaning we can’t leave our apartment very often. (Short version: if he gets sick, he gets really, really possibly-going-to-die sick). But we are handling it and for pete’s sake, WE HAVE A BABY. What we thought might not be possible is, so I can’t complain. (Well, maybe I can a tiny bit. )
